Realtionships...

So as you read in my last post. im numb as in heartless. Being heartless makes it hard to have a relationship,because of the fact you have to be willing to put your heart out there and take the risk of getting hurt. I cant do that. i cant take the risk of getting hurt and putting my heart out there. Growing up my family wasnt emotional so that kinda how i live now. Its hard sometimes because i wanna be able to do that and trust the person with everything and give them my heart and not worry about that but i cant. and for now im ok with that but when i grow up will it change? Or will i still be a heartless bitch....guess ill find out in a couple years.